I first found yoga when I was 12 years old. It started as a hobby that bonded me with my mother, as she was the first to introduce me to yoga (thanks Mama).

Over the years, I took some breaks from that practice, as I got more into fitness through sports. I always enjoyed yoga, and began reincorporating it into a weekly practice back in 2016, while living abroad in Australia. At this time, I had developed a daily routine of fitness, involving a mix of cardio, strength training, and yoga. I always looked forward to my yoga focused days and started pondering what it would be like to be a yoga instructor.

 

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That winter there was an unexpected loss of a close family member, and then in 2017, we lost another. A series of unfortunate unexpected events led me into a deep depression. Overwhelmed with feelings of utter sadness, from an empty hole. I tried filling this hole with things that weren't healthy for me, even though wellness was becoming my life priority. I started to value my health even more, so I looked for ways to feel better myself, while maintaining the longevity of my well-being. I tried cutting out alcohol for months at a time because although I wanted to drown in my sorrows, if there was one thing I knew about depression, it was that you aren't going to cure it with more depressants.

 

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Finally, that winter just before we went on mid-semester break, I was accepted into my schools therapy program for victims of sexual assault. From there, I joined the trauma focused yoga group, and found solace in my body through the practice of yoga. Keeping up with yoga and going for long runs were the only constants I had grounding me back to the person I had lost a piece of. The rush of endorphins I got from exercising started to become my healthy addiction. I needed something good to turn into a healthy habit, especially since at this time I was cutting out weed and alcohol. I turned to yoga and got an unlimited package and took full advantage of the 'unlimited' bit. Some days I think I practiced up to four  times throughout my day, going to multiple studio classes, group sessions, as well as maintaining my at home practice. It may sound obsessive but it felt too good to not be doing yoga every chance I got. The benefits I absorbed through yoga were so beneficial in pulling me out of my sad place, instilling trust in myself. I always feel like I'm able to get something out of a yoga session, whether it be five minuets or 90 minuets a day.

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Finally I found something that connected me to myself again. Making me feel wholesome and filling my life with purpose, simply from doing one thing I had complete control over.  

This is the first time I've ever shared my story. I'm not even sure some of my closest friends know the extent of struggle I faced during my last year of university. During this time, when I was actively going to yoga classes I found my passion in this movement therapy. I knew I wanted to go further within myself and my practice, so after graduating, I saved up as much as I could to live out this dream abroad. Here I stand now, living in Saigon, Vietnam, with my R200 training complete, fulfilling the dream of traveling and teaching yoga. Still facing unforeseen challenges that inspire me to grow and help others who feel stuck. Everyday I'm learning new lessons about myself as I push beyond my comfort zones to find my joy.

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I don't have all the answers yet, and although there's no place I'd rather be, I still get frustrated that I'm not doing enough with yoga.

What I've learned through the purpose of this journey we're all on, is that as long as we keep asking ourselves the challenging questions, we're making improvements. If we aren't striving for more fulfillment then what are we living for? I'm so grateful yoga found me when I needed it most, and everyday I'm grateful to be alive so that I can share my story with the world.